Did you ever see the Monty Python skit called Naughty Bits? That show used to make me laugh. The essence of the skit was there were things they couldn’t say or show on television in the 1970s, so every time the troupe wanted to do a blue joke they’d say, now for more naughty bits. It was a recurring theme that made it funnier each time they’d say it. (I just looked up the world’s funniest jokes. A few of these really made me lose it. The Epi-Pen joke is my favorite.)

Well, one of the reasons I continue to ween myself away from Instagram is that I can post more naughty bits. I mean, that isn’t the sole reason, but at least when I own my content people can choose to look or not look. Plus, I don’t have the pressure of worrying the thought police are just around the next corner, ready to hand out shadow bans or limit my distribution.

So….this is your warning. More Naughty Bits are ahead.

Hey, if you’ve come this far it’s too late to turn back. And the naughty bits aren’t that naughty. But some of the words and concepts on these cards are. And what says naughty bits more than pinups and aliens in this card to start our little naughty trek?

This genre of the femme fatale was very prominent in movie posters and postcards in the 1950s and early 1960s. In case you’re looking for 70 minutes of film debauchery, here’s the entire film from 1955 starring the queen of “bad girl” movies, Beverly Michaels.

Okay, this red-headed mermaid is showing some naughty bits. This is underwater, right? I think that makes it art. It’s definitely a postcard.

You have to read the caption for this one in the next photo. It’s from a photo of a painting at the Lucky Casino in Las Vegas. Um…yes, this one is plain naughty. Funny part about this card is it has a thumbtack hole at the top, meaning it was pinned on someone’s bulletin board.

Rack cards (or max racks) often had a certain edge to them. This one would take a boatload of Freudian analysis to figure out what in the Devil is going on.

Sometimes the best kind of naughty is by implication. And when I look at this room at the Madonna Inn, it just howls Clan of the Cave Bear. (That hand clap in the film for Ayla was particularly pointed.) This room at this hotel is called Caveman. Here’s the description from the card: The caveman is a popular prehistoric figure and a whimsical glimpse into his existence is revealed in this rustic den of solid rock! Animal prints, rock pond and stone-age clubs add to the primitive surroundings. A waterfall spills from overhead in the stone shower and water flows from the rocks into a stone sink basin in the cavern-style bathroom. Caveman has a king bed and will accommodate two primates.

I created an entire story within an instant of looking at this painting by A. Robert Birmelin called City Crowd — Cop and Ear. It’s on exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I super wanna know why the woman in the foreground is covering her mouth. Did she just see something naughty? I think so. In NYC, that’s a regular occurrence.

Staying with the naughty theme, this one is right there. In one of my lives I wanna be a pirate. Meanwhile, I’ll just go with my favorite pirate song.

And we wrap up this naughty voyage with a card that Shanada points out contains one of the seven banned words George Carlin said could never be said on TV. Or on Instagram. But it can be said here.

I know these kinds of cards aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. But for me, the quirkier the card, the more I like it. This was a fun theme. Or at least — naughty.